你就是我的心跳

this morning i wake up late lar!!!!!!!! coz actually i had a lecture @ 9am n usually i will wake up @ 6.30am n reach school by 8.30am for breakfast but when i wake up n look into my phone, it was 0723!!!!!!! i overslpt for ard an hour lar. n i didnt hear the alarm rings when i actually rmbed setting it last nite. so rushed to school n reach on time @ 9am for lecture w/o my breakfast which i usually will have. lecture ended @ 11am den when for lunch b4 the bloody scene comes @ 12pm.

the bloody scene was actually during our haematology lab 2day as we r suppose to draw blood for our lab partners by pricking the finger n allow blood to drip into the tube. 2day im the doctor n my partner is the guinea pig coz i'll be pricking her finger. so according to the procedures, went to wear gloves n take the lancet with alcohol preps n plaster. all is ready to go. she is veri afraid of the pain coz she have not experience finger prick b4 which i actually had for thousands of times, despite me teling her its not going to hurt, she is so freak out when i took the lancet n ready to go. but in the end, she finally overcome herself . then i prick her on the left hands de middle finger, her blood juz doesnt flow out much into the tube despite applying pressure n such. n due to my mishandling, my whole glove was actually stained with her blood!!!! at that moment, it was as if im a murderer or something when my fren ask me wat i have done. aft that 1 of my frens came to help mi with the blood taking n she manage to obtain quite a few drips of her blood which i onli manage to force 2 drips out frm her finger. aft all this den she went to wash her hands n i put on the plaster for her on her poor finger. i can onli say that im clumsy n have to apologise her for all the pain she have to suffer bcoz of me. but nx wk she will have the chance to revenge on me liao coz nx wk will be my turn to be guinea pig already. wonder how she will treat me nx wk . lab ended @ 3pm den aft that went to discuss abt our assignment n finally can leave school @ 5pm.

2day while on the way home i listen to my mp3 n heard these 2 songs, 记得 by ah mei n 对的人 by 戴爱玲. when i heard these 2 songs the 1st person i think of is u. coz this 2 songs are the songs that u like to sing in KTV. still rmbed u 飙不到 that 对的人 in the 1st part of the song until the last part u finally did it n u are very happy abt it. n that 记得 is the song u always sing when we chatted on the phone last time. hope i still have the chance to hear u sing that to me again. its really very nice n i like it very much. n i oso receive a msg n the sender used this '^^'. the moment i see this u oso came into my mind. coz i rmbed u tends to use '^^' in most of ur msges n msn. when such things hppn, i juz cant stop my brain cells frm thinking abt u. coz these r the memories thats i'll never ever forget. there is a movie i would wan to catch it with u coz i think the show quite nice n meaningful, which is called 'ramen girl'. that movie will show in cinema on the 7th of may. hope u will get to see this msg n let me know if u interested to watch that show with me bah.

p.s.: 人有悲欢离合，月有阴晴圆缺，此事古难全。但愿人长久，千里共婵娟。
很爱恨爱你的傻瓜字

• 11.35pm

juz heard over the news that the swine influenza has taken the lives of 152 individuals within i think like a wk or so?!! thats really alot can? n that virus is spreading very fast as it had struck many other countries such as new zealands, england, USA, china and probably HK n thailands. according to experts, the swine influenza may be pandemic as it is spreading faster than SARS n the mortality rate is extremly high i suppose. the last pandemic influenza outbreak was in 1968 which killed a million worldwide!!!!!!!! so ppl, please maintain personal hygiene such as cover ur mouth when sneezing n coughing, wash ur hands throughly with soap. avoid contact with ppl who had juz came back frm america or mexico. coz thats suspected to be the origin of the influenza.

the bad thing is that im having my attachment soon in june!!!!!!!!! which is going to be at the clinical labs in hospitals!!!!!! so hope the swine influenza does not hit singapore n will never hit singapore. if not, im in god damn big trouble. its either i have to kiss my attachment gdbye n repeat another yr if it hits singapore b4 june 22nd, or if it hits singapore during my attachments, i might risk frm getting the influenza virus coz im working in hospital de clinical labs. both cases is equally bad. so yah, pls pray that the swine influenza will never hit singapore.

juz heard this song randomly frm my mp3 2day n i find that the lyrics can describe best how im feeling rite now. the song is rather old, its a 2002 song frm a boy band 5566 named 'without your love'. here is how the lyrics goes:

盛夏的午后漫无目地的走
火红的星球怎么温暖不了我
你走了以后只留下寒冬
回忆的天空再看不见彩虹
雨下的太多怎么打进我心头
渐渐淹没我逃不开伤痛

*我躲在你给的体温
散尽后你却不加温
我痴痴等 痴痴的冷
刻在胸膛上的吻痕
深刻却找不到永恒
心碎陪我哭到无声
我痴痴等 只能痴痴冷

缤纷的周末黑色才属于我
拥挤的人群怎么留我在角落
想你的笑容像拥有宇宙
带给我快乐只因为有你
*
谁能替代你来拼凑
我散落一地的美梦
再听不见你说爱我
without your love， without your love

p.s.: 能帮我加点温度吗？我真的感觉好冷好冷, 拜托
很爱恨爱你的傻瓜字

• 1.10am

2day is a super sian de day for mi lor. as per normal went to sch for a 9am tutorial and supposingly it should end at 11am, but it ended at ard 9.45am!!! thats freaking early lar. n 2day we do not have the 12-3pm lab for MMic. so u know wat, my nx lesson is going to be at 4pm in the aftnoon!!!!!!!! WTF, i have like more then 6hrs of break in between, so wat to do? meet up with my grp members to do all my pending assignments lor, no choice. coz got alot of assignments going on concurrently. we do till ard 12noon before going for our lunch n continued at 1pm again till 3 pm. den we had BBank lecture frm 4-6pm. luckily alvin poh 2day crack a few lamb(e) jokes during the lecture to prevent me frm slping in the lecture hall. coz im damn drained n tired doing those case study assignments. its not done for the day yet. i still got APEL frm 6-7pm. who on earth will plan lessons to be at 6-7pm on the timetable?!!! thats why i say the tut is officially for resting n slping.

aft my lessons, called up bing cong n we went SUBWAY @ TAMPINES 1 for our dinner for the day. FYI, i had not been to SUBWAY for going to 3 mths liao n everything there was juz as nice, the subs i ordered which is subway melts, the drinks n esp. the cookies. damn freaking nice can!!!!!! i think U will like them if u take them coz its full of the 'chocolatey' taste esp the chocolate chip cookies, i promised to get them for u 1 day:) aft that den headed straight home via bus 969 reach home at ard 10pm.

also, i had decided to join TP bowling as a CCA n there is going to be a trial selection conducted on this coming saturday 10am @ SAFRA tampines. so do come down if u r free to take a look bah. it has been such a long time since i last trained for bowling as a team already lor. the last time was during my sec.3 n its like ard 4 yrs+ liao n so excited abt that. coz i hope by obtaining the training, i can really hit an average score of ard 170-180 like that, coz now my avg is only ard 150+. so yah, looking forward to saturday de trial selection.

hope that i can be part of the TP bowling team 2009!!!!!!!!!!!!

p.s.: 关于你的一切，我都不会忘记，希望你也是一样:)
很爱很爱你的傻瓜字

• 11.03pm

the weather this few days is really unbearable!!!!! i can be sweating profusely juz by sitting in front of the com doing my assignments, n this is really unbearable. i think the world is going to explode in no time if this carries any further. i feel like im living inside an oven everyday lor:( but at least the weather today is still alrite, not as bad as compared to the past few days as it rained the whole aftnoon juz now. so wasnt really sweating juz now when im studying n doing my research.

i have finished my preliminary research on my MMic report n it took like ard 3 hrs to finish on that. n juz went to listen to alvin poh's e-lec on topic 2 on haemopoiesis, his lectures are really wonderful!!! i should say ;) coz they are veri detailed n can be understand easily, at least thats wat i feel n i should compliment him on that.

my life feels so dry n empty w/o u by my side. whenever i see u online each time, i have the urge to chat with u, but im afraid of disturbing u frm ur work. even if i msned u, the reply didnt came. despite knowing that the reply wont come, i still check ur active chat window every 10 mins to see if there is a reply. the feeling of unable to chat with u or contact u is really unbearable. i dunno how much longer i can hang on to the life w/o u coz i can say that im thinking of u n missing u every min, every sec n no matter wat i do, u'll still come into my mind. im not sure how long will i have to wait before u'll talk to me, but no matter wat, i juz cannot n i dun wan to let u get out of my life coz w/o u, i dunno how to carry on with my life anymore as i cant get back to the life im used to be in already. i'll juz hope that u'll contact me as soon as u feel like it bah. really miss the times when im with u, everything were wonderful, the feelings, the memories even the times when u tortured me by bruising my whole arm, it was wonderful, really. but only if time can be reversed, i hope that those times will come back to me again even though chances are small i know that.

p.s.: 关于你的一切，我想要比谁都懂 miss u always gal :)
很爱很爱你的傻瓜字

• 6.37pm

1st wk of my school was in a way gd n in another way bad as 1st wk we do not have any tutorials n labs. so school sort of ended veri early on most of the days this wk. but the bad thing is that in the 5 days of this week, we already have 4 assignments!!! thats really hell man:( 1 of them will due in 2 days time which is on monday and 2 of them will due the following week and the last 1 will due in 6 weeks time as thats will require us to write a report on a case study.

the bad thing is that we change class again. with new faces n with ppl that i have nv work with i feel sort of uncomfortable as my clicks last sem is another class different from me again n it means that i have to readapt to the class n enviromnent different from last sem n for ur info, im a person with low adaptability n dislike changes so much coz i simply cant adapt to new environment that easily. but ya, no choice as im not the director of the school n cant change that, so i juz have to accept n adapt to it

im not used to blogging as this is my 1st time doing it. n the reason of my creating a blog is to express my feelings abt a gal that i know recently. though i only know her for slightly more than 1 mth, but i have went out with her for 11 times in that 1 mth n the feeling when im with her is really 'undescribable'. i have nv met a gal like her that would give me this kind of feelings. everything was going fine n smooth sailing until 1 fine day i lied to her for knowing her blog but not letting her know. as she didnt want to let me know her blog initially coz she said that the time is not ripe, but when she knew that i know her blog w/o letting her know that, she was angry. n since then, everything was like going wrong for us. the things that i do starts to irritate her n make her angry n 1 fine day during our outing, i did something really wrong to her which i shouldnt mention abt it here n she was furious with me coz wat i did was really unforgivable.n since then, she gave me a cold shoulder n was ignoring me, wont ans my calls nor reply my msges. coz in the past, we used to talk on the phone everyday n night till we slp n we spent at least 3 hrs chatting with each other on the phone n that is wat i really miss rite now. i dun really have the chance to talk to her ever since that incident as she still hvn forgive me for wat i have done n since school has started, she's veri busy with her school work as there are lots of assignments n projects, i really dunno when will be the nx time we meet each other. i wan to let u know that i really miss the times when i go out with u as the feeling u give me is something i hvn get to experience in my 18+ going to 19 yrs of life. those memories r flashing back in my mind every now n then. even during lectures, i cant really concentrate as all my mind is filled with u n nth else but u. i know its my final yr already n i shouldnt let this affect my studies but im really trying veri hard not to. n also i did listen to ur words, i nv do any last min assignments n projects liao. i have already started on 3 out of the 4 assignments thats is given to me on the 1st wk, so ya, i wont let u down de n i tell u my GPA will rise again de, not only for this sem. juz wanna let u know that my feelings for u nv change since the day i know u n i know it will nv change. i still miss u as much as ytd or i guess maybe more. i'll buck up on my studies n promise me u oso will. n also, slp early gal, dun stay up till so late anymore, its not gd for ur health.

shall end here n cont with my assignments already:)

• 2.31pm