你就是我的心跳

i juz got my Major Project de topic this week. it seems like a veri interesting topic and the vet that gave mi this project he said that project is given to mi as their company de project. and he mention that, if this project is well done, it may be brought over to australia de riding school or something like that for presentation. coz they actually had an international conference on something regarding my project. so they hope that i can produce a result that they wanted.

but before that, upon completion of my project, i'll have to present it to all the vets present in the turf club. they will judge how i fare and decide on the later ones. the vet who scope this project for mi was oso veri helpful lor. he actually helped mi to find all the relevant acticles for mi to read up as my literature review, while others have to find all by their own wan lor. he gave mi the project on tues late aftnoon n he handed mi tons of articles on wed morning!!! so gd rite? i so looking forward to working with him for my MP lor. guess i'll be busy with my MP these following wks ler.

i juz get to know that u arent feeling veri well these few days. so i really wish that god will bring all these away from u and nth is going to hppn to u de. hope that u'll be happy n carefree from now onwards.

take care gal.

只要你过得比我好 by 钟镇涛:

^不知道你现在好不好
是不是也一样没烦恼
像个孩子似的神情忘不掉
你的笑对我一生很重要

#这些年你过得好不好
偶尔是不是也感觉有些老
像个大人般的恋爱 有时心情糟
请你相信我在你身边别忘了

*只要你过得比我好 过得比我好
什么事都难不倒
所有快乐在你身边围绕
只要你过得比我好 过得比我好
什么事都难不倒 一直到老

重复 ^ # *, *x2

• 9.44pm

我之前还以为我能够追回我所失去的一切一切，但我才发现，世界上最快的奥运田径选手，它也许能追得上匹马，狮子，甚至是豹子，但他永远都不可能追得上一样东西，那就是时间。连奥运选手都最不回时间的步伐，更何况只是区区的一个我？时间，它也许是个治疗伤口的最佳良药，但也可能是个无声的杀手。

• 9.10pm

i juz know last wk that all the horses that are in turf club has to be castrated as the production of testosterone will divert their concentration on the running for the races. then 2day when i made my way to endoscopy to collect the blood tubes for testing, i was told that there is a horse that is going to be castrated on the spot!!!! n i was actually asked to stay to watch how the vet did it!!! the onli appropriate word that i can use to describe that whole process is GORE!!! its really bloody n gore lor. the worse thing is that before i know all that, the vet tell mi that they are going to prepare a wonderful breakfast for mi and asked mi if i wanted it baked, or grilled. then i look so blur down there until my mentor told mi that they are going to perform a castration on the horse. it literally makes mi lose all my appetite for my lunch. though the scene wasnt pleasant at all, but its really an experience for mi to view that whole process.

• 9.40pm

没有你的第75天，我觉得我过的不是很好，但能说的是至少比之前好多了。可能是因为现在attachment的关系，就比较忙了些，然后也没什么时间去想以前的事。但是偶尔时不时，你还是会突然的出现在我的脑海里。每次想起你，眼泪还是会情不自禁的往下掉。我还真得很怀念与你在一起的每一份每一秒，虽然我们已不能回到过去，但是和你在一起的所有回忆，都是值得怀念的。我还是无法放得下你，你已占据了我心里大部分的位子了，已经没办法在容得下别人。我这几天都有一直上你的部落阁，想知道你最近过得好不好，有没有什么头昏脑热的，因为我真的好害怕会完全失去你的消息。但我知道你最近应该都过得很好，这样子我就已经很安慰了。

还很怀念你叫我‘傻瓜’的那把声音。但那把声音我想应该永远都不会回来了吧。

依然好想你。

温岚的傻瓜:

其实他做的坏事我们都懂
没有什么不同
眼光闪烁 暧昧流动
闭上眼当作听说

^其实别人的招数我们都懂
没有什么不同
故作软弱 撒娇害羞
只是有一点别扭

#傻瓜也许单纯地懂
爱得没那么做作爱
上了我不保留

*傻瓜 我们都一样
被爱情伤了又伤
相信这个他不一样
却又再一次受伤
傻瓜 我们都一样
受了伤却不投降
相信付出会有代价
代价只是一句傻瓜

重复 ^#*,*

• 9.06pm

ytd, i heard from my mentor that there will be an internal audit nx wk and the auditors are coming on nx monday!!!!! they will have to inspect our lab lor. so 2day n tml will be a veri busy day for mi n my mentor liao. coz we 2day juz cleared the 2 fridges in our lab for the expired reagent. it filled up the whole biohazard bag for ur info okay? its so much n so heavy. den i need to check all the files n documents to make sure that they are in place. i filpped through a total of 4 files which each of them contains 500 lab request form(LRF). i filpped till my hands ache n check till my eye pain lor.

so much things left for us to complete tml lor. hope tml will not have alot of samples or specimens. if not, i dun think we can finish all the stuff by tml. have to clear up all the mess in the lab n tidy it up nicely before we leave tml. guess im prepared to do OT tml already. but btw, im not paid for doing OT. but no choice, have to. coz the audit in on monday liao.

hope i can finish everything by tml.
wish mi gd luck!!!

• 11.03pm

2day heard an extremely bad news @ ard 11am when i reach the endoscopy to collect specimen. my mentor when to see if there is any specimens to collect for testing. den she asked mi to walk over to her side n look at the LRF(laboratory request form), i was stunned to see the test: fecal pH!!!!!!!!!! argh. den we cant find that specimen on the tray, so we went to the vet's office to ask him for it. he said that he placed it on the tray in a glove!!! den we went back to endoscopy to look for that faeces, but it was not there and we ask all the personnel there they didnt see it or might have threw it away. we called the doctor again n guess wat he says? he said: den u guys have to go to the stables and collect it!!!!! i was shocked to hear that!!! meaning that we will have to go collect the faeces ourselves.

so SWAY lor. got fecal de specimen already veri SWAY liao, somemore still lose that specimen.

so no choice, we went to the stable. on the way, my mentor, who is my senior, she ask mi to be a gentleman and do it, so i guess i have no choice but to do it. upon reaching the stable, we ask for the horse to collect the faeces. the trainer was so gd that he collected it on my behalf and handed mi that. so grateful to him lor

den aft that proceeded back to lab to do the test. now the lab stinks like hell lor. hope it will be gone by tml.

it still a fun learning experience though. enjoyed my internship in STC so far :)

• 10.44pm

2day is my 1st day of SIP @ the turf club. the only word that i can use is great!!!!!! coz 2day i learned quite lot of stuffs in the lab from my mentor, who hppns to be an ex TP student in the same course as mi. she juz gratuated lor. i get to learn how to run control samples, data entering and different tests procedures using the analyzers. N 2day i get to do the full blood count using the analyzer 2day lor!!!!!!!!!! following all the test den i was asked to do data entry into the LIS and print the report. the report were later sent to the vets for review n signature.

she also brings mi to the endoscopy department to meet all the vets and introduce them to mi 1 by 1 and they were all ANG MO's lor. i cant see an asian vet there. i cant seens to rmb all their names but i'll try my best to. n i get to speak to a vet as he came to our lab 2day. i saw him extracting all the serum from the blood tubes using a syringe, so i asked him why is he doing this. he told mi that actually this is used to treat the horse's (same horse from blood drawn) eye as it hurts its cornea. he said that the serum is actually good for healing of eye injuries. thats really a learning point.

overall it was a wonderful 1st day @ turf club as i get to see many horses and meet many ppl.ppl there are nice, friendly n helpful towards mi as a intern, esp my mentor. she is really patient. although she had many things to complete on a monday morning, she drove mi (using a buggy) around to familarise with the environment and teach mi step by step each of the procedures of each test.

hope that each day will be a fun learning experience for mi @ turf club :)

• 10.37pm

今天下午2点，我准时地在越好的地方等你，但却迟迟没见你来的踪影。我等到差不多要快5点，你始终都没有来，看来你是还没有原谅我的样子。但没关系，我说过，我能等你10个礼拜，也许我就能等你10个月，甚至是10年，等到你会原谅我为止。

过后我就索性买了一张戏票，看了一场5.30pm的电影，blood, the last vampire。过后在自己一个人闲逛了街，买了两件衣服给自己当作生日礼物。今天我逛过的街，走过的路，都是我们曾经一起牵着手走过的。回忆都一幕幕的出现在我脑海里，是甜美的，但我的心情不是。已经63天，9个礼拜了，你还是深深地刻在我心底，没法放得下你。

tml will be my 1st day of attachment. anxious yet worried about it. hope nth will go wrong tml.

此刻就只能献上这一首歌: 温岚的 '祝我生日快乐'

我知道伤心不能改变什么
那么让我诚实一点
诚实难免有不能控制的宣泄
只有关上了门不必理谁

#一个人坐在空荡包厢里面
手机让它休息一夜
那上千个切掉回忆的画面
眼泪不能流过十二点

*生日快乐 我对自己说
蜡烛点了 寂寞亮了
生日快乐 泪也融了
我要谢谢你给的
你拿走的一切

还爱你 带一点恨
还要时间 才能平衡
热恋伤痕 画面重生
祝我生日快乐

重复#*

• 11.31pm
  

还剩下倒数的几分钟就是我的生日了，今年应该会和往年没什么差，也是自己过。但是我希望明天下午的2点，我会在那里见到你。我不知道你会不会出现，但我还是会在那儿等。因为如果你真的出现的话，我想会是我19年来过得最有意义的生日，你的出现也将会是我最大的礼物。

recently i've found a poem on a webside which i think its rather nice n sweet.

its named The Furthest Distance in the world:

The furthest distance in the world
Is not the distance between life and death
But you don't know I love you when I stand in front of you

The furthest distance in the world
Is not you don't know I love you when I stand in front of you
But I cannot say I love you when I love you so madly

The furthest distance in the world
Is not I cannot say I love you when I love you so madly
But I can only bury it in my heart despite the unbearable yearning

The furthest distance in the world
Is not I can only bury it in my heart despite the unbearable yearning
But we cannot be together when we love each other

The furthest distance in the world
Is not we cannot be together when we love each other
But we pretend caring nothing even we know love is unconquerable

The furthest distance in the world
Is not the distance between two trees
But the branches cannot depend on each other in wind even they grow from the same root

The furthest distance in the world
Is not the branches cannot depend on each other
But two stars cannot meet even they watch each other

The furthest distance in the world
Is not the track between two stars
But nowhere to search in a tick after two tracks join

The furthest distance in the world
Is not nowhere to search in a tick
But doomed not to be together before they meet

The furthest distance in the world
Is the distance between fish and bird
One is in the sky, another is in the sea

The furthest distance in the world
Is not But using one's indifferent heart
To dig an uncrossable river
For the one who loves you

• 11.56pm

i been to E!hub 2day n it has been so long since i last went there. went there for bowling and movie. talk abt the bowling 1st. E!hub the bowling centre was great and i can say my scores 2day is the most presentable as compared to the past few wks. had an avg of 148 in 6 games. my partner was also not bad okay. her top game was 172!!!! higher den mine okay :( mine was onli 170... but i did contribute some effort in that game. her game was clean for the 1st 4 frames until the 5th frame when she had a 5-10 split, i offered help for that frame n spared that split. overall bowling was satisfying.

nx was the movie. went to watch 'ghost of girlfriends' past'. show was nice, meaningful n touching? i guess in the end. haha. and before parting n heading home, she handed mi a birthday gift which i didnt expect it at all. its really out of a sudden and such a surprise. thks so much for that. i cant rmb when is the last time i recieve a gift for my birthday.

a sentence quoted in the movie: some1 says 'the power of the relationship will goes to the party that cares less abt the relationship but power isnt equal to happiness, happiness often belongs to the party that cares more'. i believe thats veri true. although i know i have none out of the 2, but i really felt happy when im with her n care alot abt her everything. even if she finds them irritating now, i wont stop caring abt her. coz i know i love her. at least for now, i know my feelings for u haven changed at all. miss u lots

4 more pathetic days to my birthday. will i get to see u on that day? will u be there?

• 11.48pm

2day is the day that i didnt not get to stay at home for the whole 24hrs which i did for the past 4-5days. went to jurong point for the movie 'night at the museum 2' with my frens 2day, the movie was super nice n hilarious lar. enjoy that so much. so looking forward to 'transformers 2' to show which is on the 24th of june.

on my way to jurong point 2 day, as i got plenty of time, i took the bus 187 all the way from woodlands to boonlay. prefer taking bus than trains as i get to have some sightseeing along the journey. when the bus was reaching 'ur' place, i'll tend to look out of the window to see if i'll catch the sight of u. sadly but expected, i did not. it brought back alot of memories between u n mi on that bus coz that is the bus which i always take to ur hse to fetch u for our outing. on the way back, i took the train as it was rather late. i did a veri silly thing. which is to alight at the station stated NS4 where im not suppose to alight. i tot if i will be so 巧to be able to meet u there. i waited for 2 trains on either sides b4 it come to my mind, y am i here? wat am i doing here? i took the nx train n left for NS9 which is the stop that im suppose to alight n headed home.

• 10.44pm

sry for so long not updating. coz there is nth much to update anyway. holidays have been such a boring wan. for the 1st wk, almost everyday eat, slp, watch tv consecutively for 7 days. unlike the past when my holidays with u by my side. everyday will be a different day. i'll try to make plans for an outing with u. but now, its totally different. everyday seems so dead to mi. nth to look forward to. 这几天，连吃饭也显得没什么味口，菜也显得没什么味道。for mi, life juz seems so meaningless nowadays. im juz like 活一天，是一天。和行尸走肉没什么分别。

说长不长，说短不短。没有你的日子，55天就这样子过去了。都一直没有你的消息，我不知道你最近过得怎么样，还好吗。msn上不见你，msg你也没回复，打电话给你也没人接。你就在这世界上消失了吗？我和第1天一样，依然好想好想你，完全放不下你。

• 10.18pm

finally, its the end of a stressful wk coz term test is over!!!!! this term test i believe its going to be veri bad. i foresee i'll fail at least 2 papers for this term test out of the 5. but dun have to worry, coz i dun have to see those lecturers anymore for at least the nx 20wks, coz im going for my SIP, meaning i wont get back my papers soon. this saves mi frm a heart attack. finally can enjoy for the nx 2 wks b4 my SIP begins on the 22nd this month.

but i know the holidays this time is not going to be like the previous wan, coz u r not going to be there for mi anymore. n it have been 47 days already yet i still cant accept it that u have left mi. i really dunno wat im thinking now. n really dunno wat m i going to do for the rest of the 2 wks. if u were here, i would have plenty of plans up ahead with u. but onli if u were here. 2 more wks de sunday will be my bdae ler. will u be there ma?

i still miss u alot.

• 1.16am

as wat i have expected, 2day is my doom's day. MMIC was really indeed hell lor. open-book test are not easy. coz u know wat? most of the ans cant be found on the book itself de lor. so applicational lah!!! flip like hell oso cant find wan. so most of it i'll usually use my common sense to ans it or i'll juz crap n write bullshit. i think the lecturer marking my paper will vomit blood lor. den i'll get back a paper not white but red in colour, coz stained with his blood!!! i dun really expect much for this paper. total marks is 50. any marks above 25 will be a bonus to mi already.

tml is blood bank. got 6 topics tested lor!!!!! i have juz finish 3 and damn tired liao. will have to continue the rest tml. test is at 5 pm tml.

going to slp now liao. wish mi gd luck. dun wish to see another MMIC paper tml!!!

• 11.00pm

2day was the 1st paper for term test n it was hematology. the lecture hall that the paper was held its god damn cold lah!!!! can freeze inside wan lor. n i didnt bring along a jacket, so no choice but to tahan for the whole duration which is 75mins. the paper is from 11-12.15pm. the paper was alrite, all application qns, but to be fair to the lecturer, the paper is not tough, its manageable. i finish the paper at ard 11.30am. but i saw no 1 leaving the hall so i dare not leave. so i juz stay at my seat n read through my paper. onli until 1145 that i cant tahan the freeze inside the hall that i juz stand up n walk out of the hall

thk god 1st paper was alrite. not much of a problem. but tml is the big problem liao. medical microbiology!!! although that paper is open-book, but i still dunno wat n how to study for tat. n my textbook is more than 800 over pages. so i predict tml i'll flip my book like hell to take reference lor... the paper is onli 70mins. confirm not enough time de lor according to the seniors who had taken open-book test as flipping through the book will take quite alot of time. tml sure die de!!! its juz a matter of time. pray for mi that tml i wont die too badly.

as wat i have predicted, H1N1 have reach sg ler. as of 2day, already got 4 confirmed cases in sg and 13,398 cases worldwide including 95 who died. so i predict that the figures will keep on multiplying until dunno when lor. so juz hope all of u gd luck.

anyway, i had already confirmed my attactment at the singapore turf club liao. think it will be an interesting SIP over there coz get to see horses everyday. but juz that duno wat will my job be over there. but sad to say, turf club onli wan 1 interns frm my course n so im the onli person going there. quite sad lor. but im used to being alone liao. so i think i'll be able to handle that de. glad to hear frm my lecturer that turf club will pay mi an allowance of $450-500/mth for my SIP, although it seems like cheap labour, but i think its alot better den some of my frens who is free labour as they wont get allowance at all lor. my SIP will be starting on 22nd of june which is the day rite aft my bdae till the 6th of nov. so all the best for my trip there!!!

不管6月21日当天2点你会不会来，我都会在约好的地方等你。能与你一块庆祝，是我今年唯一的心愿。不见不散！！！

• 5.03pm

我和你之间发生过太多事，暂时是不可能再在一起。从不认识到认识，从有缘到无份。或者这些都是上天的安排吧。但我终于明白，我们这两棵接枝树的分开，都不一定是件伤感的事，因为他们曾经在一起过。认识你是我这一生最快乐的一件事，我会永远永远的记住这些美好的日子。以后，我会好像细叶榕一样，默默的在远方为你送上祝福，希望你可以永远幸福，快乐。

你是我最爱的人，无论是多久，我都会等你，直到你原谅我为止。

你的幸运王子，麒杰上

• 5.oopm

i have juz watch a new HK tvb drama named 学警狙击. the show is veri nice n this song is veri touching, veri meaningful n i love it so much. this song is sang by the female lead called 江若琳, she is so pretty can? the name of the song is 手掌印, hope u ppl will like it

here is 1 pic of her

要是我重头拣选下个 明显都是错 情感可控制麽
我习惯无人好好待我 唯一伤害过 而且牺牲太多
我若试图忘记一种痛楚 然而回忆迫使背负更多
宁愿你杀掉我 就当我上了一课
做个好心分手彼此都不要拖

*明明你根本称不上值得我的吻
别再忍 好应该摆脱伤心的噩运
而情感 怎么给踩过也不沉
偏要酷爱着你这坏人
为何我即使给掌掴没有太不愤
随便笑 去讽刺我脸上的手掌印
原因 应该出于情难自禁
总要是记着你这坏人的一吻

这段感情无非伤得太多
面上唯一手掌印在唱歌
提醒我你犯错 别再放纵你找我
就当好心分开今天可干脆麽



*

• 1.55pm
  
  

life is juz so sian, so boring. y is life so sian? nth interests mi anymore.

my ECG had officially become like that: __________________________, a flat line. it will not peak or rock bottom anymore. who can revive this for mi? can u?

• 10.18pm

也许我连做你朋友的资格都没有了吧。
我这一种人，根本就不配认识像你这样子的一位女生

对不起。

• 09.57pm