你就是我的心跳

今天是我认识你两个月的纪念日，虽然已经没有机会再和你一起庆祝了，但是我还是很庆幸在我的人生中，曾经有你的出现。因为你的出现让我的人生中增添不少的色彩，也让我从你的道理中吸取了不少经验与知识。天下无不散之宴席，欢乐的时光也过得特别的快，只是没想到它会在那短短的5个星期就结束了。我知道我已没有办法再和以前一样跟你一起有说有笑，一块出门，看电影，吃饭，打保龄球了。非常想念你叫我傻瓜的样子和声音，非常想念和你一起打保龄球，总分合计有290和295的分数。非常想念每晚和你聊电话直到你入睡为止，非常想念每次和你在戏院和你玩爆米花的那一幕。非常想念送你回家在190巴士上你靠着我的肩膀小睡的时候。非常想念和你在一起的很多很多，但我也深深了解以前的时光也不可能再回头了，我只希望以后你的人生能够活得更加精彩，更加美好。我也会去试着去习惯没有你的生活。今天这个时候会是我最后一次为你落下眼泪，日后的那些日子没有你，我会好好的生活下去的，我会考到GPA 3.5以上，不会辜负你对我学业上的期望，你给我的那些回忆，虽然以都是曾经，但我非得承认它们都是甜美的。这也会是我花上一辈子也无法忘掉的回忆。谢谢你，谢谢你曾经出现在我的人生中。谢谢你给了我那么美好的一段回忆，好让我怀念一辈子。这也会是我最后一次着我的部落阁中提到你。

虽然我不相信有前世，今生，来世，但是如果真的有来世的话，希望我们还能够再续前缘。
临走之前为你送上最后一首歌曲，js的‘你是此生最美的风景’。

还记得那年的夏天 椰子树占据了海边
太阳光灿烂得刺眼
你轻轻吻了我的脸
飞机越过海面 划下微笑弧线

就在一瞬间 你和我之间
相隔一个世纪般遥远
幻想的时间 却带不走回忆里的画面

*你是此生最美的风景
让我心碎却如此着迷
就算世界动荡
再绝望也有微笑的勇气
你是此生最美的风景
才令我至今一再想起
这样爱过一个人
是多幸福的事情

后来我们又再遇见
虽然成熟了些 笑容却都没变

就在那瞬间 有很多感觉
排山倒海淹没了视线
你没有开口 紧紧地拥抱着却意味深远

*

以为时间可以 像沙滩和潮汐
拭去回忆痕迹 Wo~
我们如果不曾分离
我不会发现最后回到原地 还是最爱你

*

你是此生最美的风景
才令我至今一再想起
这样爱过一个人
是多幸福的事情

• 11.03am

在我的记忆中，我明明记得很清楚和你的每一段回忆都是美好，甜蜜的。但是我总是想不通为什么每当我回想起和你在一起的时光时，眼泪都会忍不住地掉下来。你这样子算是在惩罚我之前所犯下所有的过错吗？这快结束了吗？没有你的日子，人生实在是一点意义也没有。这几个礼拜，除了想你以外，我做任何事都提不起劲儿。你就是我的全部，我的心跳，主宰了我的一生，你知道吗？我需要你在我的人生中给我直指引，因为我曾说过你就像是我生命中的一盏明灯，照亮我的一生。没有了你，我的人生就好像只有黑暗没有了光明。你能回到我的身边，当我的那盏明灯，指引我继续往前走吗？

p.s.: LY, 我需要你，你听见了吗？
很爱恨爱你的傻瓜字

• 9.03pm

my wishlist:

• hope that u r not angry with mi anymore, coz the times w/o u is really unbearable
• chat with u on the phone every nite before u slp n hear a sweet gd nite frm u, as chatting with u will make my day a pleasant 1 even though its not
• get a subway cookies for u like wat i have promised u, coz i know u'll definitely like it
• play bowling with u @ E! hub n get a combined score of >300, coz u'll be veri happy when u bowled extremely well n bolwing alley there is fastastic
• watch a romance movie with u @ the cathay, coz i haven have the chance to catch romance movie with u
• eat botak jones @ the youth park opposite cineleisure with u, as i promised to treat u that
• to sing 爱的主旋律with u hand in hand coz the lyrics of the song is actually wat i wanted to say to u
• go to the airport with u again to enjoy the scenery as thats also 1 of our pleasant memories
• be together with u, which is my wish since the 1st day i know u.

will they ever come true? thats a big question mark inside my head. i wonder do u still rmb all the memories that we had. btw, i still kept the 百万大歌星 show that u ask me to record and im still waiting for u to come my hse n watch that, but dun worry i wont be deleting. so when u feel like watching it ler den u come lor.

anyway, have been having a bad mood n have blew my temper to ppl ard me esp my mum. i wanna apologise to u for that coz i know u r having a hard time at this period, sorry mummy.

p.s.: 我的愿望，你听见看见了吗？
很爱恨爱你的傻瓜字

• 9.42pm

i remembered that i once promised u that i will not let my tears flow down my face ever again but whenever i think of u, the times we had together n ur msn nick, im unable to control my feelings anymore n juz 情不自禁 de cry out loud. this had hppn i dunno how many times ever since u left me n im really not getting any better as times goes by. juz wanna apologise to u once again that i broke my promise that i made to u.

rmb we once sang this song tgt, which is 小鬼&卓文宣 de 爱的主旋律. i hope that i can have the chance to sing this song with u again hand in hand.

鬼：是你在那个雨季 走进我生命
带着一点任性 和温柔的表情
^萱：是你在那个雨季 赶走了孤寂
温暖的笑容 换我仅有的坚定

#鬼：天上一万颗星星 我却只看见你
要说这是幸运 还是不可思议
萱：身边有太多风景 我却停在这里
说我傻的可以 还不是因为你

*鬼：是你的声音 萱:带给我勇气
鬼：恋爱的频率 萱:直到我心底
鬼：如果你愿意 萱:是否我愿意
合：来自我幸福的主旋律
鬼：从前都失意 萱:现在我相信
鬼：天空会放晴 萱:爱会更甜蜜
鬼：如果你愿意 萱:是否我愿意
合：爱的主旋律 永远唱下去

^ # *

la..... la..... la.....

鬼：如果你愿意 萱:是否我愿意
合：来自我幸福的主旋律
鬼：从前都失意 萱:现在我相信
鬼：天空会放晴 萱:爱会更甜蜜
鬼：如果你愿意 萱:是否我愿意
合：爱的主旋律 永远唱下去

#

• 8.33pm

this few days when i open my fridge, i'll see the left over puddings that i took back from sakura when i went there with u n the chocolates that we bought at the candy empire. whenever i saw those stuffs, my mind will 不由自主 de think of u. all our past wonderful memories will float at the back of my mind. thats y i dare not finish all those left over puddings n chocolates coz im afraid that once i finish them, the memories will be gone n never come back anymore. i dunno whether will there be anymore chance that we can have somemore great moments tgt, so i dun wanna lose any of these memories with u. coz seriously, they r extremely wonderful that i will never wan to forget them. hope that we can still have the chance to go out tgt bah.

im really apologetic for all the things that i have done that might hurt u gal, here is another song that i wanna dedicate to u gal, the song is 'sorry' by 苏永康. below is the lyrics.

Sorry... I am really sorry.
我又一次把你气哭在陌生街头
爱你... 我当然爱你
自从第一眼到现在什至没人敢预测的将来
^请你相信不是我不愿意改变我自已
而是一再努力又一再放弃那个软弱的自已

#其实我恨透了我自已没有认输的勇气
让你受尽了不安和委屈

*你是我这一生这一生最最最害怕去伤害到的人
也是我这一生这一生唯一能让我安定下来的人
虽然我并没有并没有并没有一身温纯的灵魂
但是我很愿意很愿意做那个永远照顾你的人
我的爱人请听我有颗不善言语的心
只能够看着你远处的背影

^#**

p.s.:我是真心想跟你说声sorry，希望你会原谅我所做的一切。我爱你。
很爱恨爱你的傻瓜字

• 10.21pm

trial 2day was really bad n it has been quite a long time since i last bowled so badly, an avg of only i think 130 n i doubt i'll be able to get into the team. :(

juz onli 2day i realised that bowling can be so boring, uninteresting n unenjoyable w/o u bowling with me by my side. every ball that i throw, be it a strike, a spare or it goes into the gutter( long kang) really serve no purpose to me anymore. i cant see the joy i used to have for bowling anymore coz no matter how well or how worse i bowled, i really feel nth already. n also u did say u hate the face of me when i bowl, coz my expression is ugly. so i have decided to stop bowling in the near future no matter whether i make it into the team or not. maybe till the day i have gotten over u completely or i can feel my passion for bowling again, i will start to bowl again bah. or till the day u ask me out for bowling tgt, which is quite impossible i guess.

p.s.: 后悔不贴心会痛，恨不懂你会痛，想见不能见最痛
很爱恨爱你的傻瓜字

• 7.25pm

tml will be my bowling trial selection ler. so excited abt it lor. so 2day i went to safra tamp to bowl n get try to get used to the lanes for tml de games. played a total of 8 games with an avg of 159. highest game was 191 n lowest game was 119, which is the 1st game. 1st ball avg was 8.3. hope i can get selected n get into TP de bowling team as the team is full of elites n im sure i can get to learn alot if i get in the teams. really hope that u'll be there tml to give me the support that i need n share the joy with me if i really get selected coz i really wanna share my happiness n joy with u. with ur support, i believe that i'll be able to make it de. tml its going to be 10am @ safra tamp. hope to see u there.

1 song that i wanna dedicate to u gal, which is 永不消失的彩虹 by 卓文宣。the lyrics goes like this:

我看见你的瞳孔 看见的那片天空
你指尖尽头 架空属於我的梦
那是清澈的星河 那是橘色的云朵
遥远的天国 建筑这一道彩虹

^你把我眼底的寂寞 彩绘成缤纷的宇宙
跟在你身后 带我静静遨游

*请不要放开我的双手
不要缺席我的以后
请留给我 慢慢消失的那一道彩虹
已经习惯你的双手
牵著我的那种温柔
只有你懂 我会流泪是因为最深处的感动

我以为天是黑的 你忽然放了烟火
我才发现我 生命可以很闪烁

^ *

请不要关掉我的镜头
不要熄灭我的以后
快给黑夜 永不消失的那一道彩虹
已经习惯我的双手
你能感受我的颤抖
只要你懂 我会流泪是因为最深处的感动